Friday, October 10, 2008

Feeling good

well here I am again and I am starting to feel good about where I am headed with my drawing.
I had put down my pencil out of frustration, disappointment and a huge chunk of no confidence thrown in.
but like most people I have gone full circle and I have found my self drawn back to what my heart wants to do and that is draw and tell stories. To just be creative.

I had tried to apply the logic to my life that you are an adult now and with that comes responsibilities and commitments and you can't always get what you want out of life.
Just settle and be happy for the good things in your life.
Don't get me wrong I have a good life. A well paying day job, a beautiful wife, two great sons, a house, a car, food on the table.

The logic just just wasn't working though, I just wasn't happy inside and out.

I would wake up every morning with that dull ache deep inside that something just wasn't right. It took me quite a while to figure out just what it was and what I should do.

Although it did take an epiphany at around 4.00 am one morning. After another bout of insomnia had struck and sick of tossing and turning in bed for ages I decided to get up and watch a DVD.

While watching the movie Unbreakable, Ironic I know, a comic book hero movie but Mr Glass (Samuel L Jackson) says to David Dunn (Bruce Willis) " that little bit of sadness in the mornings you spoke of, perhaps you aren't doing what you are suppose to be doing".

That one sentence just rang bells in my head and I just thought to myself,what are you supposed to be doing?
well what I came up with was I like to draw, Duh, I am pretty good at it and it makes me feel good when I do.
Even now, I still can't believe I had just locked it away for so long.

It has been a slow journey back with reading and sketching doodles, to playing around with characters and now writing stories. but it is fun and I feel happy about being able to create again.

Maybe I'm not going to change the world with what I am doing but at least I feel good about doing it.

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